My weight

Is commin on down!!!!! Almost at 20 pounds lost, and finally got past the stupid 278(around) mark I haven't been able to beat. Things are lookin up!


-- Post From My iPhone :D

277.2

:|

mhmm

I have a date on Friday... :D

and

279.2! - Started working out at the office and the spectrum too!

:D

And it begins!

Ego repair 101

Lose weight, weighed in at 283.6 today, super heavy, luckily I have alot of muscle mass so I don't look thaaaat heavy.

Going to run/walk the LA Marathon I've decided. I need to be at least 220 by then... March I believe. Low carbing with aerobic training and resistance training... Here we go!

283.6


-- Post From My iPhone :)

Tickity tick

It's a time for drastic changes


-- Post From My iPhone :|

Lollercoaster

So here I am again still thinking about you. It's been easy, but the fact is, I miss you a bit.

Time often heals what reason cannot. I hope at least.

edit: I was slightly intoxicated when I posted this, haha.

-- Post From My iPhone :(

Excitement

I'm excited to start a new journey in my life.


-- Post From My iPhone :D

wow

just ran across a childhood friend on facebook, amazing. She's really pretty. Im glad to see that people from my past are good, and not bad.


:D

amazingly?

amazingly, i feel good about everything. Maybe Ive been through this stuff enough, that its made me colder, but while I am kinda sad, im not at all distraught. I feel like myself, and not like I lost something. Everything is gonna be fine.

Maybe its all just a defense mechanism right, but I don't think so.

:D

oy

So it officially ended yesterday. After a week of proving and providing evidence and very practical(immediate future) ideas, I still got shut down. The first time it was the distance. The second time it's because of my habits. The story changed again. So I wonder what is the real reason? I imagine I filled a void when you had no friends and hated life, and now, after I pushed you to go out and made you happier, I'm no longer needed. That's my guess on the truth. Your logic and your EXCUSES just don't make any sense to ANYONE.

Either way I'm glad it's over. I have no good reason to move to a state where the girl that I actually had real thoughts of asking to marry me after living together for 6-8 months(yeah, recall me telling you i had began to save money again and had plans to put all my bill money to create a huge savings account? yeah for you to have a very, very nice ring) is a complete liar and can't even tell herself , or me, the truth. Or how about when things get tough(er) and leaves me? Especially when the events leading up to the break-up were filled with love and happiness? (just more lies) Or someone with lots of options and someone who's WILLING to work things out just so that things could be your way(financial, other habits) and it's still not enough? No thanks.

My mind is turbulent, full of thoughts, but there is one thing I know for sure. I cant be with someone who could never trust me, cant keep their promises and cant hold onto their convictions through tough(er) times. Not to mention all the shit noted above. Plus the general unhappiness about you that makes people not like you. (but i didn't care, because I loved you for who you were, right?)

I know I'm not perfect, but at least I strive to be, and willing to make things work(and not just when there's problems) to make both of us happy. I know for a fact there aren't a lot of people like me, and someday I will find someone who will appreciate that. Someone who will want to make me happy the way I wanted to make you happy.

-- Post From My iPhone :S

...

im trying here, without playing games, dont let me down, again. :X

lolz

So, now what? I sit here, and wait for you to call me, txt me, message me and hope that me offering you the world is good enough? You say its not about power... and maybe you dont realize that it is, but it is. I think its time to go away. Im not crushed, maybe a little hurt, but hey, what can I do? I gave it an honest chance, and you didnt. Maybe to you, you did, and the reality of the situation is that, once were over, its all about you, to you, and its all about me, to me. Its to bad you couldn't look at this situation like an adult, and instead looked at it like a 16 year old teenager. Your logic doesnt make sense, your practacility doesnt make sense. That can only leave me to the conclusions I already told you. Your playing games, regardless if you wont admit it to yourself.

I guess this is just a dumping ground of thoughts, who knows how the situation will play out. I could play games too, but, I'm tired of doing that.

:/

Hrm

So today I discovered that no matter what age people are they'll still never escape of their high school drama.
The only difference is that they find better(sometimes worse) reasoning behind their drama. Relationship power plays for the lose.

Maybe I should start that meditation shit I've been thinking of doing.

-- Post From My iPhone :|

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